A Series of Perfectly Ruined Proposals
by lightblue-Nymphadora
Summary: Quinn's ready to propose to Rachel. Unfortunately, the universe seems to be against her. Rated for a bit of naughty language. Faberry


_**LbN: Written for Lima Designs on Tumblr. **_

_Monday_

Quinn stretched and rolled over, trying not to wake the brunette next to her. This was it, she thought with a smile. The big day had arrived. As much as she wanted to wake her girlfriend with kisses, she had work to do.

Everything was going to be perfect.

She set the table and placed the ring box, open, on Rachel's plate. Normally she let Rachel handle the cooking, but she was going to make the best "Will You Marry Me?" vegan pancakes the younger girl had ever seen. Hopefully the only "Will You Marry Me?" vegan pancakes Rachel had ever seen….

It all went well until she had to use the griddle.

"Shit, shit, why is it sticking?" she muttered, as the charred pancake began to smoke. "FUCK!"

"Quinn?" Rachel called from down the hall.

Quinn managed to grab the ring box and stick it in her pocket before her girlfriend reached the kitchen. "Er…morning."

Rachel smiled and opened a window. "Morning, baby! Mmm…pancakes?"

"I tried," Quinn said forlornly.

"Aww, don't pout," Rachel told her, walking over for a kiss. "We'll make breakfast together."

"I wanted to surprise you…" Quinn grumbled.

"Well waking up to a fire alarm was a surprise…."

* * *

_Tuesday_

So cooking was out…but Quinn was nothing if not prepared. After taking the rest of Monday to regroup, she'd come up with another plan. She slipped the ring box into her arm band.

"Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

"It's a gorgeous day outside. That never happens anymore."

"I know. I think we used up all the world's rain this month."

"Do you want to go running instead of hitting the gym?"

"Way ahead of you," she said, coming into the room. She was already dressed in her workout clothes. "Okay, maybe on the same page," she added. "Ready?"

"Yep."

Quinn thought they were okay. It was their favorite jogging route—it took them around their neighborhood and through the park. It was about five miles, total, and they were fine until mile number three.

"Argh!"

"Rain turns you into a pirate? Good to know," Rachel said.

"No, this isn't supposed to—"

"Let's just run back."

Quinn watched as Rachel turned back towards their house. With a sigh, she checked her armband to make sure the box was still there, and followed.

* * *

_Wednesday_

Fine. This was fool proof. They weren't going anywhere and she wasn't cooking—it had to work.

It was a last minute idea, but luckily it wouldn't take too much preparation. She was simply recreating their first date. Smiling, she dialed the number to their favorite pizza place. "Hi, I'd like to place an order for pick up. Two medium pizzas—Vegan Veggie Delight and a Bacon Feast. Thanks."

She picked up her keys and wallet, checked the time, and made her way out to the car. The date had been during their sophomore year. Rachel had called her at three o'clock on a Friday, crying because a dickhead professor had told her she didn't have the right "look" for a leading lady. Quinn was on the next train out. They'd cuddled in the living room, watching movies and eating pizza.

Traffic was thicker than usual, and Quinn considered going to the movie rental place before heading to Pizza Mia. But it would be impossible to switch lanes now. She heard sirens in the distance. "Great…some idiot on his phone got creamed, I bet."

It took another twenty minutes to move three miles. When she finally got to Pizza Mia, she let out a gasp. Half of the building was on fire.

That explained the sirens. She parked in the next lot over and looked on. It seemed that everyone was okay….

But this meant a quick change of plans. "Rae-bug!" she sang into the phone.

"Hi Q-bear," Rachel said. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering…is there any other place close to us that makes vegan pizza? Like, for take away?"

"Not close…. I could go for some Thai food, though, as an alternative."

"Sure thing. I'll see you later this evening."

"Bye love!"

Thai food place—closed for remodeling.

Rachel's favorite bakery—sold out because of a wedding and five unexpected birthday orders.

Their favorite Italian restaurant—no more to-go orders due to credit card fraud.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Quinn yelled, exasperated. "Forget this…I'll figure out something for tomorrow."

* * *

_Thursday_

Shamelessly stolen from Meet the Parents, but Quinn didn't care. Rachel's singing kids were fucking adorable, and although she knew Rachel didn't want a huge public proposal, she knew the brunette would absolutely love it if the kiddos were involved.

"Okay, so Sanjay, you stand here, and Bianca, you can stand here," she directed. "Remember, I'm going to give each of you a ring pop, and then you flip your signs over so Miss Rachel can see. Got it?"

All of the kids nodded eagerly.

"Hold on!" a voice demanded.

Quinn turned and saw a man marching forward. She recognized him as Emilio Turner's father. "Yes?"

"This is why we had to be here early? So you could romanticize your immorality?"

"Excuse me?"

"Look, I know there are gay people in the world—"

"Bravo…."

"And I know my family and I will have to work with them and deal with them and all that. But that doesn't mean I'm going to let you people influence my son."

"It's just a sign, Daddy," the little boy said, obviously confused.

"It's not, son. It's the principal behind it. I don't want him in any homosexual behavior."

"It's a proposal," Quinn argued. "We're not matching the kids up with each other."

"I don't care. He's out. Emilio, let's go."

Quinn pinched the bridge of her nose. "No worries, guys," she said, putting on a cheerful voice. "Amanda, put your question mark sign against the wall, and you can take Emilio's spot as the W."

"Actually," a timid voice said. "I'm not really comfortable with this either."

Quinn turned back to the parents, unable to hide her dejected look. She sighed. "Okay…. How many of you don't want your kids in this?"

Most of the parents raised their hands.

Quinn nodded. "Here you go, guys. You can still have your ring pops," she told the kids sadly.

* * *

_Friday_

Quinn woke up and stretched. She could hear Rachel humming in the bathroom as she got ready for the day. She'd had it with the romance…. It was time to cut the crap and just propose. Down on one knee as Rachel came out of the bathroom. She opened the drawer to her nightstand, where she'd kept the ring for the past few days, and opened the ring box.

It was empty.

It took all of her strength not to cry. She searched her memory for when she could've lost it. She hadn't shown it to anyone yesterday—and she knew she had it when she attempted to propose at the studio.

"Morning babe!" Rachel said, coming out. "What's wrong?"

"It's just…been a long week," Quinn said, trying to hold it together.

"Aww, babe…." Rachel leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. "I'm sorry. But I do have some good news."

"Yeah?"

"Word on the grapevine is that this gorgeous blonde I know was planning on proposing to an exceptionally talented brunette, but things went pear shaped."

"I'm going to kill Santana…."

Rachel raised her left hand and let the ring sparkle in the sunlight for a moment. "So…now that the pressure's off…." She took the ring off and handed it to Quinn. "Want to try again?"

"Rachel Barbara Berry, for the love of all that is holy, will you fucking marry me?"

Rachel nodded, giggling, and kissed the blonde. "I'm guessing that speech changed a bit during the week?"

"Quite a bit."

"And by the way…there's no need for you to incur Brittany's wrath by killing Santana. She's not the one who told me."

"Who, then?"

"Emilio's mom," Rachel said gently. "I guess she figured you'd gone ahead and proposed after his dad's storm out…. I didn't correct her. Anyway, she apologized, and said the other parents who left were probably doing it to save face. This may be a big city, but it's still a pretty tight community that we picked to live in. Most of my kids all go to the same few schools and churches. No one wants to be the heathen that supports us gays."

"Cowards," Quinn snorted.

Rachel laughed. "Mob mentality. Still, you got your girl in the end, so it's all fine."

"Fifth time's the charm," Quinn said, smiling.


End file.
